Not Much of a Writer

I’m not feeling like much of a writer tonight.  I’m not sure what spark is missing, but I’m not feeling that connection to the story pool.

All of my ideas, as much as I kind of like them, I don’t have that passion for that can drive me to write incessantly, to get the story out.  I find my characters uninteresting, or the problem lame, or the world flat and unresponsive.

My recent failed attempt at editing is probably not helping this mood (which has been on my mind most of the month, if I’m to be honest).  A story that I enjoyed is going to take more work than I think it is worth to fix.  My vision as a writer and what the story needs were world apart.

So now I come back to a story I have started twice, and am trying to start again, and it’s like racing uphill.  Short bursts of activity, but then I get bogged down and tired of it, and wander off for a while.

I want that feeling of creation back.  Of bringing a story, an idea, into the world that has never been there before, and having it be good.  Having it count for something, to mean something.

And all my attempts at motivation myself right now will probably fall flat because of that.  I need to figure out this existential writing crisis, because I don’t like not being productive when I know I could be, if only… [fill in the blank]

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6 Responses to Not Much of a Writer

  1. raquelin says:

    You probably don’t want to hear that not all stories are worth fixing, do you? >.>

    That said, you look at them, you enjoy them for what they are and what they can offer you, and you learn from them. Then you go onto the next thing.

    IT’S A JOURNEY.

    this has been advice from the drunken shark.

    • cosmato says:

      I want to hear the truth, whatever it is, especially if it's not what I am thinking or not what I want to hear. Always.

      And I guess this is more upsetting because I thought (when I was writing it) that this would be worth fixing. Now that I see it is not, I worry that what I am writing now will have the same fate, that it will not be worth it. That what I'm working on isn't worth my time, in other words.

      This has been a response from the drunken…I dunno, what animal? That is NOT a unicorn.

      • racquelin says:

        You always want it to be, and think that it has potential. That’s why you write the damn thing in the first place. But your first impression is about as accurate as your first draft or time line.

        The big challenge is not to become discouraged or bitter or jaded. Give it all a chance. Give every plot bunny its opportunity. Make the most of what you get–and know when to stop beating a dead horse. But just because something isn’t worth blood and tears to make “publishable” doesn’t mean that it can’t be a lab in which to experiment with mechanics.

        And like any passion, it’s not about the feelings. It’s about the commitment. You may not feel like a writer, but you are committed to being one.

        So… write.*

        *”write” meaning anything to do with the writing process. research, practice mechanics, clean, restructure, organize, plot, actually put new words down, whatever.

        • cosmato says:

          \”And like any passion, it’s not about the feelings. It’s about the commitment. You may not feel like a writer, but you are committed to being one.\”

          That may be the best take away.

          I have more thoughts, of course, but they can wait a bit.

  2. amanda says:

    i know i’ve seen this as an actual quote and not a graphic but i can’t find it.

    http://i688.photobucket.com/albums/vv245/amusemen

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