Cosmam and Raq’s SyFy Premiere Drinking Game

If you’re like us, lovers of SyFy channel premieres (they hurt so good), you may have taken to drinking during the movies to make the experience more enjoyable for all involved.  While there are many groan-tastic things that you may have taken to drinking for, we had never seen a general SyFy drinking game, one that would apply to their horror, their creature features, and yes, even to their speeding glaciers.

 So we made one.

The rules are loosely organized to make them easier to remember.  Some movies will be worse than others (Shark Attack 3: Megalodon would be particularly harsh), but most should be manageable.  If we’re playing, we’ll probably call out the rules we see, but no promises, especially later on in the movie.

So, without further ado, the rules:

The Threat

  • Anytime a named character dies – 1 drink
      • Heroic death saving others – 2 drinks
  • Anytime the “threat” displays karma – killing the characters who have done wrong instead of those who are good – 1 drink
  • Global Warming reference – 1 drink
      • It’s the root cause – 2 drinks
  • A meteorological threat is taken out by a monster, or vice versa – 2 drinks
      • Both are nuked – finish drink and promote movie to everyone you know

Menacing Organizations

  • Reappropriating existing gov. agencies (DHS, FEMA) – 1 drink
  • Blatant ripoffs of existing gov. agencies – 1 drink
  • Government agents in sunglasses or suits – 1 drink
  • Anytime the government is depicted as secretive or controlling – 1 drink
  • Disparaging portrayal of big business – 1 drink
      • If they are behind it – 2 drinks

Character Cliches

  • A bunch of rednecks/trailer home gets taken out in dramatic, rednecky fashion – 1 drink
  • Some kind of arrogant snob with a smart phone is taken out because s/he won’t look up from the screen – 1 drink
  • Fat whiny kid eats it – 1 drink
  • Teenage genius is misunderstood – 1 drink
      • Saves the day – 2 drinks
      • Hooks up with counterpart – another 2 drinks
      • That counterpart is a stepsibling or cousin – 3 drinks
  • Government agents are shifty – 1 drink
      • The government agent turns into the best character – 2 drinks
      • The government agent gets his own hashtag – 3 drinks upon RT
  • Mad Scientist – 1 drink
      • He is the root problem – 2 drinks
      • He is the solution, and it works – 3 drinks
  • Character falls down running away – 1 drink
      • It’s not a woman – 2 drinks

Science!

  • Anytime scientific words are used with no logical context or meaning – 1 drink
  • Nonexistent scientific terms used seriously- 1 drink
  • Any reference to string theory, or quantum effects – 1 drink
  • Anytime what happens on-screen is blatantly contrary to basic physics – 1 drink
  • Pseudo-science alphabet soup is employed to make someone sound ingenious – 1 drink
      • That someone is a teenager – 2 drinks

Happy Endings

  • A nuke is suggested as the final solution – 1 drink
      • If it is used – 2 drinks
      • If it actually works – Finish your drink
  • Make out of the love interests right before the credits – 1 drink
      • Someone working on the movie promises that it’ll happen/spoils you – waterfall throughout scene
  • The authorities show up just too late – 1 drink
  • Livestock are involved – 2 drinks
      • They survive against long odds – 3 drinks

Errata

  • Reference to national disaster (Katrina, 9/11, etc) – 1 drink
  • Destroying a well-known monument – 1 drink
  • Tie-in to another movie:
      • Previous movie in the franchise – 1 drink
      • B-Movie not in the franchise – 2 drinks
      • Blockbuster movie not at all associated – 3 drinks
  • Anytime stock footage is used – 1 drink
  • Anytime a shot is obviously reused – 1 drink
  • Anytime a piece of technology inexplicably malfunctions as part of the plot (this includes cars that won’t start) – 1 drink
  • The keys to the car are kept in the sun visor – 1 drink
  • You seriously reevaluate your life while watching, and decide to stick around and drink more – as much as you need to feel better
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